I delivered my first baby yesterday. It's part of my clinical training to be a paramedic. Yesterday was OB time, already completing assignments in the ER, NICU, ICU, Pediatrics, and the Psych ward. As I stood back in the room watching the doctor prepare for the delivery, he turned to me and stated, "I should let you do this." Immediately frightened and excited, I timidly replied, "Ah, yah, I can do that." Needless to say it was an amazing experience. But it brings me to something else I've realized in my time at the hospital.

Hospital staff can be rather awful. More often than not I was confronted with nurses that gave me nothing but poor attitude. This came as a surprise, since I was warned on several occasions prior to my hospital time that it would be the doctors to steer clear of. However, this was not the case. I was never snubbed by a doctor. But nurses would often make complaints about my poor performance, though I was learning almost every skill for the first time, and ignore me and my peers constantly. Many times, when asking a nurse a question, it was met with a one word response and a tone of annoyance. With doctors, once I learned that they were approachable, my questions many times led to lengthy discussions about the topic.

Not every nurse was this way. I can think of a few that were very helpful and approachable. But the vast majority of them were not. In a nutshell, I was made to feel like an in-law that this family of hospital staff begrudgingly had to put up with. In just one more example, when passing a few doctors in the halls from my time in the ER, with whom I had very little contact with compared to the nurses, they were friendly, recognized me, and talked with me and my peers. But when I saw a nurse from my ER time walk through the cafeteria the other day, it was with a look of contempt, void of any friendly gesture, just a cold brisk passing, despite my smile and initial attempts to say hello (which I quickly gave up on from the body language I was receiving).

Which brings me to this: There must be something about the profession of nursing that somehow contributes to this poor attitude and disrespect. Only a few were committed to excellent patient care and the wisdom to teach others their knowledge and skills. Something in their beliefs and personality was able to overcome what seemed to drain the life out of the profession. I suspect it is several factors. The 12 hour shifts, the endless disrespect from patients, time constraints, close working quarters, and finally what I can only describe as a feeling I got. It felt that the hospital staff was in constant conflict with one another to prove their medical knowledge. In a place where there are many highly trained medical professionals, there was one ego battle after another, each trying to assert themselves as the medical guru if you will. Very exhuating. And easy to become a player.