Been busy lately. As an ideal, I value being busy. I see others that appear busy, and I respect and envy that. But now that I'm in the midst of such a lifestyle, I find myself short tempered, fussy, not wanting to be bothered when I set to a task. I don't like that I'm like this. I guess both aspects of what I have described. The gap between what I value and the reality of that situation. And the fact that I get very frustrated, very easily when my mind is overwhelmed with thoughts and things to do. Even now as I type, it is a constant battle. Michelle keeps feeding me information about the home warranty, the window estimate, the boys lunch for tomorrow. I feel the emotion like an aneurysm ready to burst.
Found a gem in my old CDs the other day. A Tooth & Nail sampler called "Toast" and "Olive." Never gave it much attention back in the day, but I've been listening to it lately, and there is some really good stuff. Even a "Danielson Familie" song that I must have thought ridiculous when I first got the CD some 12 years ago. 12 years.
Saw an old captain of mine at the gym today. Not an old guy, just a captain I used to work under, Spinner. Super nice guy, good to work with. Had the wind event in Cambria with him, running non-stop to different fallen trees, and finally to a massive trunk of a tree that fell on some guy in his bedroom. The call will always stick out in my mind.
Enough for now. Too much to do.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Linked up to the internet in Paso. It is running slow. I think there is a problem with the phone line. The bedroom jack has a ridiculous amount of static, if that is any indication. I think we are at that point of unpacking where there is random stuff spotted everywhere. For some reason, I can't seem to do anything unless I feel as if we are finally, without a doubt, completely moved in. Which could accumulate to a problem, because I don't think a complete unpacking will occur anytime soon. Certainly not in the next few days. Which would be nice, since I start my paramedic internship this coming Monday.
Been hearing a lot of good sermons on the value of Jesus. Pastor Bryan spoke about worship at church the other day (which reminds me, I would love to categorize my sermon note taking somehow on my computer). The sermon illuminated the concept of idolatry, and made me aware of the idols in my life. He explained that as humans, we are set up from birth to worship...something. Whatever we find value in. We make sacrifices for what we value, we devote ourselves to it, and eventually are conformed by it. The same holds true if we value God, save that last part of the previous statement. Instead of being conformed by what we value, we are transformed by God. And then on my drives to and from work, I've been listening to podcast sermons from Pastor John Piper (found him by following a link on Pastor Bryan's page). He spoke on the new birth, and made some statements that I rather enjoyed. That the new birth is not a renewal of a new religion, but of new life. And that the new birth does not simply affirm the supernatural in Jesus, but allows us to experience the supernatural in ourselves.
I've lost the internet connection again. Time to fix.
Been hearing a lot of good sermons on the value of Jesus. Pastor Bryan spoke about worship at church the other day (which reminds me, I would love to categorize my sermon note taking somehow on my computer). The sermon illuminated the concept of idolatry, and made me aware of the idols in my life. He explained that as humans, we are set up from birth to worship...something. Whatever we find value in. We make sacrifices for what we value, we devote ourselves to it, and eventually are conformed by it. The same holds true if we value God, save that last part of the previous statement. Instead of being conformed by what we value, we are transformed by God. And then on my drives to and from work, I've been listening to podcast sermons from Pastor John Piper (found him by following a link on Pastor Bryan's page). He spoke on the new birth, and made some statements that I rather enjoyed. That the new birth is not a renewal of a new religion, but of new life. And that the new birth does not simply affirm the supernatural in Jesus, but allows us to experience the supernatural in ourselves.
I've lost the internet connection again. Time to fix.
Monday, January 28, 2008
We made it back to Paso, our new home. The trip to Quincy was very nice. Got to hang with the parents, see my dad's new shop (which he did a really nice job on), eat some fantastic meals, and do a little snow shoeing. Would love to write more, but after a long day of traveling, and the endless unpacking (which will most likely continue for some time to come), it is late, and Michelle is ready for bed. Reflections on Quincy for another time.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
We made the move to Paso Robles. It was undoubtedly the worst move I've ever taken part in. The excitement of moving into a new place, the first house I've owned, was buried under hours of stress and fatigue from the move. I still am struggling to unearth the excitement of having my own place, three full days after the move.
I sit now at my parents computer in Quincy, CA. Michelle and I made the drive yesterday to get away for the weekend and to play in the snow. The drive was somewhat interesting. We were to meet up with Dan for lunch, but sometime around 10am little Danny fell and put a two-stitch hole in his lip. So that plan was canceled for the time being. Then it was snow 40 miles west of Quincy. There was a moment of serene beauty, shortly followed by a slight skid towards the edge of the road and an eternity of panic (0r so it felt) that Michelle could never shake the rest of the drive. Getting into my parents, we relaxed, I had a Arrogant Bastard Ale with my dad, ate some French onion soup and cheese fondue, watched the snow fall in the driveway, and walked the dogs in the calm of the snowy night, making crunching footsteps around the block. I didn't wake once during the night.
I sit now at my parents computer in Quincy, CA. Michelle and I made the drive yesterday to get away for the weekend and to play in the snow. The drive was somewhat interesting. We were to meet up with Dan for lunch, but sometime around 10am little Danny fell and put a two-stitch hole in his lip. So that plan was canceled for the time being. Then it was snow 40 miles west of Quincy. There was a moment of serene beauty, shortly followed by a slight skid towards the edge of the road and an eternity of panic (0r so it felt) that Michelle could never shake the rest of the drive. Getting into my parents, we relaxed, I had a Arrogant Bastard Ale with my dad, ate some French onion soup and cheese fondue, watched the snow fall in the driveway, and walked the dogs in the calm of the snowy night, making crunching footsteps around the block. I didn't wake once during the night.
Monday, January 21, 2008
A document came out recently concerning the idea of Kern County Fire Department staffing paramedic engines. I thought about including it here, but it is far too long.
I've only skimmed protions. It is long even for me! But a couple of thoughts on the subject.
It states as an advantage that having two ALS providers at the scene of a major casualty incident improves patient care. This is very true. But what the document leaves out, and what many people seem to miss is that having two ALS providers on any critical incident would vastly improve patient care. Indeed, when there are several patients, the more medics on scene the better. But even with one serious patient, there is more than enough interventions to perform to keep two paramedics busy. This seems to be a bit idealistic though, due to funding constraints. Perhaps that is why the thought of dual medics is rarely entertained by the various boards and committees deciding patient care.
Having said this, a disadvantage brought up by the document is that with a fire based medic program, there will be instances when two medics will be on scene. (It is amazing to me that this is even considered a disadvantage.) The potential problem they see with this is a disagreement on patient care. First I would like to point out that this is a potential problem. I have an issue with making decisions about something based on what might happen. Second, every medic is held accountable to his or her actions no matter who they are employed by. Having spoken with a medic about this topic, she stated that if a fire medic did something she disagreed with, she would simply take him or her along in the ambulance to transfer care and explain their actions at the hospital. And finally, disagreements about patient care are not new. It happens in the hospital continually between doctors (who share the same medical authority) and people are expected to ultimately do what is right for the patient. At the very most, a disagreement about patient care is a short term issue. But it is a long term benefit, causing careful consideration of the best treatment of the patient and a determination to perform the proper treatments before the eyes of fellow medics.
Fianlly, another disadvantage brought up by the document is that a fire department based medic program would basically "steal" medics from the ambulance companies because of the more "competetive" salary and benefits of the fire department. This viewpoint brings up a disadvantage that is not connected to greater levels of prehospital patient care. First, this is a disadvantage of private ambulance companies, not a disadvantage of a fire based paramedic program. Private ambulance paramedics leave their career for a variety of other medical professions, including nursing, physician's assistant, and even medical school, with the fire department just one of these other professions that offer better salary and benefits. This happens regardless of a fire based medic program or not. Because as I stated before, this is a problem with the ambulance companies, not with any proposed paramedic program. And any connection it has to patient care is remote and fabricated.
I've only skimmed protions. It is long even for me! But a couple of thoughts on the subject.
It states as an advantage that having two ALS providers at the scene of a major casualty incident improves patient care. This is very true. But what the document leaves out, and what many people seem to miss is that having two ALS providers on any critical incident would vastly improve patient care. Indeed, when there are several patients, the more medics on scene the better. But even with one serious patient, there is more than enough interventions to perform to keep two paramedics busy. This seems to be a bit idealistic though, due to funding constraints. Perhaps that is why the thought of dual medics is rarely entertained by the various boards and committees deciding patient care.
Having said this, a disadvantage brought up by the document is that with a fire based medic program, there will be instances when two medics will be on scene. (It is amazing to me that this is even considered a disadvantage.) The potential problem they see with this is a disagreement on patient care. First I would like to point out that this is a potential problem. I have an issue with making decisions about something based on what might happen. Second, every medic is held accountable to his or her actions no matter who they are employed by. Having spoken with a medic about this topic, she stated that if a fire medic did something she disagreed with, she would simply take him or her along in the ambulance to transfer care and explain their actions at the hospital. And finally, disagreements about patient care are not new. It happens in the hospital continually between doctors (who share the same medical authority) and people are expected to ultimately do what is right for the patient. At the very most, a disagreement about patient care is a short term issue. But it is a long term benefit, causing careful consideration of the best treatment of the patient and a determination to perform the proper treatments before the eyes of fellow medics.
Fianlly, another disadvantage brought up by the document is that a fire department based medic program would basically "steal" medics from the ambulance companies because of the more "competetive" salary and benefits of the fire department. This viewpoint brings up a disadvantage that is not connected to greater levels of prehospital patient care. First, this is a disadvantage of private ambulance companies, not a disadvantage of a fire based paramedic program. Private ambulance paramedics leave their career for a variety of other medical professions, including nursing, physician's assistant, and even medical school, with the fire department just one of these other professions that offer better salary and benefits. This happens regardless of a fire based medic program or not. Because as I stated before, this is a problem with the ambulance companies, not with any proposed paramedic program. And any connection it has to patient care is remote and fabricated.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
My mind is full. A contributing factor would be my lack of sleep recently. Insomnia is new to me. I've always been the one that sleeps deep, hardly remembering a dream even, awaking early and refreshed. Lately this has not been the case. Perhaps it is just the dogs and nothing more. Michelle's love of animals carries over to a desire to have them sleep in the same room as us. But like any animal, they tend to be somewhat active at odd times of the night, a scratch here, a licking session there, and sometimes a snore or groan. Not to mention the dreams that always give rise to little whimpers and kicking motions. For whatever reason, these noises wake me, and once awake, I can no longer get back to sleep. Last week, it was 1:30 in the morning, last night it was 4 in the morning. My eyes ache. I can see why people complain about insomnia. I do plan on the simple solution of removing the noise to see if that helps.
Came across a letter from Pastor Terry dated sometime in 1997. Ten plus years ago. I don't remember the circumstance of receiving the letter. I must have been in contact with him in some form or another. It was on MVCC letterhead, just longer than what a normal postcard would contain. Upon rereading it, I thought about how influential he has been in my life. So much so that when I think about what a Christian is, how he should act, what he would say, I often think about Pastor Terry. Makes me think about how to influence people. Something he said in the letter that sticks out in my mind is an encouragement to put on the armor of Christ. Following that encouragement, he said to avoid fanciful or superstitious methods of resisting the enemy. Christ himself is sufficient. Good advice, and at a time when I would shortly thereafter be exposed to all sorts of fanciful methods of battling the devil. He closed with, "In the Lamb, Pastor Terry." There is a sting of nostalgia I feel in that. I've burned some bridges. Perhaps someday we can reconnect.
Came across a letter from Pastor Terry dated sometime in 1997. Ten plus years ago. I don't remember the circumstance of receiving the letter. I must have been in contact with him in some form or another. It was on MVCC letterhead, just longer than what a normal postcard would contain. Upon rereading it, I thought about how influential he has been in my life. So much so that when I think about what a Christian is, how he should act, what he would say, I often think about Pastor Terry. Makes me think about how to influence people. Something he said in the letter that sticks out in my mind is an encouragement to put on the armor of Christ. Following that encouragement, he said to avoid fanciful or superstitious methods of resisting the enemy. Christ himself is sufficient. Good advice, and at a time when I would shortly thereafter be exposed to all sorts of fanciful methods of battling the devil. He closed with, "In the Lamb, Pastor Terry." There is a sting of nostalgia I feel in that. I've burned some bridges. Perhaps someday we can reconnect.
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